How do we find belonging in systems not built for us?

In this unforgettable episode of Work Is Weird Now, we sit down with Tamu Thomas (author, speaker, somatic coach, and champion of slow, embodied leadership) for a conversation that goes way beyond workplace trends. We talk about belonging, but not in the way corporates usually frame it.

Tamu unpacks what it actually takes to feel safe and seen at work—not just tolerated, not just included, but belonging in your body.

“A lot of people talk about belonging,” she says. “But what they’re really talking about is assimilation. Or tolerance. They’re not talking about people being the full expression of who they are.”

What does belonging feel like?

For Tamu, belonging isn’t something that can be conjured by another Diversity & Inclusion initiative or a free pizza night. Belonging is biological. It’s somatic. It happens beneath the surface—when your nervous system tells your brain, you’re safe here.

That means creating a culture that allows for rupture and repair—conflict that’s named and worked through, not ignored or avoided. That means leaders need to stop rushing to "fix" discomfort and start getting better at holding space.

“Belonging is not convenient,” Tamu says. “It’s really, really challenging.”

The cost of ignoring this?

Burnout. Disengagement. Disconnection. Tamu shares a raw personal moment, one that will hit close to home for many:

“There were a couple of times I was driving and I thought—maybe just a minor car accident. Just a bit of whiplash. So I could get some rest.”

It's not just a throwaway line. It’s a jarring reminder of the stakes when we design work environments that reward performance over presence, perfection over humanity.

What do we do instead?

Tamu’s prescription is simple, but radical: slow down. Create spaces for real listening. Learn the language of your body. Know when your nervous system is in survival mode, and when it’s safe to connect.

And for leaders? Start by ditching the pep talks.

“We overestimate giving people a good talking to,” she says. “What people need more often than not is a really good listening to.”

Why this episode matters now

In a world of always-on work and curated productivity, Tamu reminds us that real transformation doesn’t come from another strategy deck—it comes from the body. From breath. From building cultures where people don’t have to edit out essential parts of themselves just to get through the day.

Her episode is a must-listen for anyone who leads, coaches, or simply wants to work in a way that’s more human.

🎧 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts
📖 Women Who Work Too Much by Tamu Thomas is out now in bookstores and audio.